Here at Pages By The Sea, we contemplate death in order to bring clarity to life.
Welcome friend & let’s begin…
I am walking up to my favorite park bench beside the pond. I set my cane against the side handles and I sit down. I stretch out my legs and I take a deep breath. I feel the peace of the day.
I am looking out over my pond. Yes, I call it my pond because of all the time I spend here. It feels like mine as I am alone usually when I am here. But today I see others out enjoying the beautiful day.
Am I supposed to be here today? What was it they told me? No matter. Ah, but here come my ducks. They know me. I am their friend. Do I have the bread? Yes, here in my coat pocket. “Hello my friends, here is your food,” I am telling them. I am tossing pieces of bread and they are quacking. Are they happy?
My mind is wandering as it does sometimes when I sit here on my bench. I am thinking about my life. Old men do that. We go over events of our past, we feel good, we feel bad, we have regrets, we have joy. I am thinking about my granddaughter who is in college. Is that right? I think so but I know she is growing up.
I am seeing my lovely Sarah, my lifelong partner. She is sitting next to me on the bench. She is holding out her hand, wanting bread for the ducks. She smiles at me and tilts her head in that special sincere way she had. I smile back at her and hand her some bread. She is gone. Sarah?
Yes, my Sarah died a while ago. That’s right. And I am here on my park bench alone. I feel a sadness come over me. I miss my wife.
What is that I see? Across the pond, is it a light? But it is daytime. It is a light, a glowing circle of light. Am I okay?
I feel something in my chest. No, I feel something on my chest. It is heavy, like when I used to play with my granddaughter and she sat on me and laughed. Oh those were the happiest of days, playing with my grandchildren on the lawn in the backyard of my home. I see the smiles and I hear the giggles.
Yes, it is heavy on me and I need to take a deep breath. It is hard. I am scared.
The ducks are quacking at me. Have I stopped feeding them?
Is that a mist across the pond? It is a nice day but I see a mist growing and moving across my pond. Is it coming to me? I think it is. Wait, there is the light I saw before. It is in the mist. It is a glow. How strange I think. How interesting.
A sudden realization strikes me. Hold on now, could this be it for me? Is this me dying? Is it over? Is this how it ends?
What’s this? Memories are filling my mind, a film of my life. Oh such sadness I feel. Look at that, now I feel better. I feel incredible happiness. A good life? Yes, I had one, I know it in my soul. I can feel it.
Sarah, is that you? Sarah, my love. You’re so beautiful. Yes, you’re here with me. It is so good to see you again. I can’t hear you my love but I am coming. I am reaching for her hand.
My pond has disappeared. The mist is all around me now. Yet there is a soft yellow glow in it.
Do I hear voices? Are those sirens? Are my ducks still quacking?
Peace, I feel it, complete peace. Clarity, it all makes sense to me now. My life.
The glow, the light - Is that you God? I have believed in you my whole life. Are you real? I had faith, we all did, they taught us that. Are you taking me home?
The weight on my chest is gone. The mist thickens. The light, the glow brightens.
My ducks have stopped quacking. The voices and sirens are gone.
Am I still on my park bench?
Ultimate peace fills my soul. I am ready.
Oh Lord, is this my final journey?
If you enjoyed this story, you can say 'thanks' by buying me a coffee...
Thanks for reading this little story.
For me, it would be a peaceful way to end my life story.
Until next week, take care of yourself.
Beautiful piece and peace my friend. Thank you for sharing this moment with us.
Quite beautiful. Thank you.